Al Gore Jokes
Q: How does Al Gore get to sleep?
A: He counts ballot papers.
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Q: How can you spot Al Gore in a bunch of Secret Service agents?
A: He's the stiff one.
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Al Gore is so dull that his secret service code name is "Al Gore".
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Q: What's the difference between Al Gore and Socialism?
A: He uses the phrase Social Entitlements instead
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Al Gore had a DREAM one night. He dreamed he could actually bend over and tie his own shoe laces.
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The Gore Halloween Party
Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. His wife got a terrible headache and told Al to go to the party alone. Al, being a devoted husband, protested, but his wife argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So Al took his costume and away he went.
His wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Since Al did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching Al to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted Al cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him, and being a rather seductive babe herself, Al left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let Al go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally Al whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation Al would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when Al came in and asked what kind of a time he had. Al said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
Al replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Larry Flint, Janet Reno, and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... I loaned my costume to Bill and he told me he had a great time!"
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Al Gore and Roswell
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, an incident they say has been covered up by the military.
March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born.
That clears up a lot of things.
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Al Gore and Fundraising
Documents released by the White House show that the Democratic National Committee asked Al Gore to make 140 calls to campaign donors, but he only connected on 56 of them. The other 84 hung up because he sounds just like a dial tone.
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Al Gore's Nightmare
Gore: My God, it was terrible!
Aide: What?
Gore: This nightmare I had--I dreamed I was running against Dan Quayle.
Aide: What's so terrible about that? Seems to me it'd be a slam dunk for you.
Gore: You don't understand. I was in this debate--and the first thing they ask ed was, "Which of you is Al and which of you is Dan?
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At the Whitehouse
One day at the Whitehouse--
Mr Al Gore was walking down the hall of the whitehouse when he felt a big urge in his bladder. He ran as fast as possible to the nearest room. He finally reached one. It was Bill's. Al went straight to Bill's Bathroom when he saw the weirdest thing. "Wow", said Al,"a gold plated urinal!!!". Al proudly unzipped and used that urinal greatly.
That morning Al told Tipper, his wife, about the golden urinal. Tipper found it astonishing.
Later that day, when Tipper found herself in a conversation with Hillary Clinton, she brought up the thing about Bill's Golden urinal. Tipper told Hillary all about it. Hillary just replied with an," Oh, Yeah um hum".
That night in bed Hillary lay next to Bill when Hillary brought up that subject, "Bill honey, I think I know who pissed in your saxophone".
- submitted by Andy.
