Democrat and Liberal Jokes Part 2
Hillary is being driven around Washington D.C. and spots a little boy sitting in a park with a wagon. She thinks, "this is a great press opportunity" so she has her driver pull over. She gets out to talk to the little boy and discovers that he has 6 little puppies in the wagon. She comments on how nice they are and the little boy says "Thank you ma'm, they're Democrats!" Of course Hillary is extremely pleased by this.
A few days later, Bill decides to take one of his jogs down to McDonalds, which is close to the park, and Hillary mentions that if he should see a little boy with a wagon he should stop and talk to him. Well, Bill sees the little boy with his wagon and puppies so he tells the little boy, "what nice puppies those are!" The boy says, "Thank you sir. They're Republicans!" "Wait a minute," says Bill, "You told Hillary that they were Democrats." The boy responds, "Yes sir, they were, but now their eyes are open!"
---------------------------------
Bill Clinton dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Bill replies, "I am Bill Clinton, and I was president of the United States!" St. Peter says, "Ok, I will take you to meet the Lord." So they go to meet the Lord, who says "Who are you and what have you done?" Clinton replies, "I am Bill Clinton and I was president of the U.S.A.!" The Lord then says, "Come Bill, sit on my right hand." Clinton then sits down to the right of the Lord, extremely happy.
Al Gore then dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did. Al replies much the same as Bill did, stating that he is Al Gore and was Vice-president of the US. St. Peter then takes him to meet the Lord, who offers Al the seat on his left side. Al accepts, and like Clinton, is ecstatic.
After a while, Hillary dies and gets to the gates. St. Peter asks who she is and what she did, to which she replies, "Hillary Rodham Clinton, wife of the president of the US." Peter then takes her in to meet the Lord who repeats the question, "Who are you and what have you done?" Hillary replies, "I am Hillary Rodham Clinton, and you are in my seat!"
---------------------------------
Didja hear that in response to Pres. Bill's habit of dropping in on local McDonalds the McD's national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton?
Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, and it's got half the meat
---------------------------------
A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, "Little boy, what
ARE you doing?"
The boy replied, "I am making Ross Perot, Mister."
Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making Ross Perot?
Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?"
The boy answered, "Oh no Mister, I can't make Bill Clinton."
"But why not?" asked the man.
The boy replied "Well, Mister, there isn't enough bullshit here to make Bill Clinton."
---------------------------------
Several politicians had a meeting with the Wizard of Oz...
First, Newt Gingrich went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart".
So the Wiz said, "So be it".
Second was Al Gore. He said to the Wiz, "People think I'm unintelligent and have no common sense what so ever...I wish to have a Brain".
The Wiz said, "So be it".
Third was Bob Dole. "People say I have no confidence and I lack conviction... ..I wish to have some Courage".
And the Wiz said, "So be it".
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard.
The Wizard looked at him, and said, "Well, what do you want?"
To which Clinton replied, "I'm here for Dorothy!"
---------------------------------
A little boy wanted $100 very badly, so he prayed every night for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided he would just write the Lord a letter and ask him directly for the $100.
When the post office received the letter addressed to "GOD, U.S.A.," they decided to forward it to President Clinton. The President was so touched and impressed with the boy's nerve that he showed it to Hillary. She said, "This could be good P.R., Bill. Go ahead and send the kid some money." The President told his secretary to send the boy $5.00. He thought this would seem like a lot of money to the little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat right down to write a thank you letter to God. It read as follows:
Dear God,
Thank you for sending me the money I requested. However, I see you send the money through Washington, D.C. and, as usual, that bastard Clinton took 95% of it.
