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Friday night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the 1960's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally,but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, go compare that to Blockbuster: You're two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.