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Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2002 13:48:25 -0400
From: Ted <t*****@cdnow.com>

You realize that the Democrats you're gleefully slandering and demeaning are still your fellow Americans, right? Did you forget that the September 11th attacks were attacks on ALL Americans, not just Republicans?

So much for the new era of bipartisanship that Bush promised. Hateful ideologies like you (and your Democratic counterparts) make me sick.

As far as I'm concerned, you're as bad as the terrorists.

We've got a lot of bigger fish to fry than your Tom Daschle and Bill Clinton's sexcapades from the last century. If you can't add anything constructive or intelligent to the National debate, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Hi Ted,

I think I met you once! You were at a local restaurant eating a cheese steak with home fries and a Diet Coke. Now, lets review your missive email. You state that I am slandering and demeaning Democrats. Sorry Ted, I may be demeaning them but it is not slander. It needs to be a lie to be slander and everything here is either true or a joke. Jokes are not slander.

How you could mentally tie the September 11th attacks into anything on this site is beyond me. On the other hand, I am a Republican and tend to think logically. I assume you are a Democrat and therefore will say anything in a desperate and futile attempt to be right. Sorry but that just doesn't work here.

Ted, you are asking me to be BIPARTISAN!!!! What do you expect from a web site titled, "I hate Democrats.com"?

You should also be aware that Republicans speak for themselves. A promise by George W. Bush to be bipartisan does not mean that I have to be bipartisan. Is this how the Democrats work? If Daschle says to jump off of a bridge will all Democrats jump off of a bridge?
(One can only hope. ;)

Lets see if I can understand some of the rest of your letter using demospeak:

So your letter rewrites in English as:

Anyone who is not a Democrat and any Democrats who don't jump off of a bridge don't agree with me. I am always right so you should do as I say, your not a Democrat.

Ok, Ted, I now understand. Yes, you are correct. I know it is amazing to be correct but we Republicans, Libertarians and Independents got used to it a long time ago. The dizziness will go away.

Ted, I know this will come as a surprise to you but Tom Daschle and Bill Clinton are not fish. I know they are cold, slimy and smell like week old fish but believe me they are only Democrats. In addition, the EPA would never approve the air pollution caused by frying them. Could you imagine that much pork hitting the grill? I shutter to think about it. Sexcapades? Is that playing on Broadway? I bet Bill Clinton stars in it. Geez, I might even buy a ticket.

Ted, Ted, Ted, I am adding something constructive and intelligent to the national debate. I am adding balance in humor. Didn't you read the mastiff on the site?

On a serious note, I am not sure where you got the idea that only Republicans died in September 11th. I am sure that the people in the World Trade Towers, the Pentagon and in Pennsylvania were registered as everything and nothing. September 11th was traumatic and you shouldn't cheapen their memory by attempting to tie that into rants. I will say nothing more on this subject.

Ted, you said, "SHUT THE F**K UP!". You really need to get an imagination. Next time try something like "May all your wives be Democrats". By the way, does CDNOW know you are sending email to IHATEDEMOCRATS.COM during working hours?

Finally, Ted, I am only going to tell you this because I care. Caffeine Free Diet Coke tastes just as good as the real thing.

Enjoy,

The Editor