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Quotes Not all of these are Democrats but I just couldn't resist such easy jokes. On the other hand it's the exception that proves the rule. "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version," "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another" "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," "They are going against the Constitution of the U.S. I've got to rescue myself. I can't in good conscience go forward when I feel everything within me says it's against the (U.S.) Constitution." "I've been a citizen most of my life . . . "
"I'm not like George W. Bush, I will do anything to win this election" - Al Gore "It is not those who cast the votes who count, but those who count the votes" "Differences between me and President Clinton? That's a very thin file. Let me pull it out here. Wait a minute. Nothing seems to be in it." Does that include Monica? "All the ills from which America suffers can be traced back to the teaching of evolution. It would be better to destroy every other book ever written and save just the first three verses of Genesis." Typical Democrat "China gets $60 billion in MFN status from Uncle Sam. Russia gets $15 billion in foreign aid from Uncle Sam. In exchange, Uncle Sam gets nuclear missiles pointed at our cities, two tape decks, and three cases of vodka. Beam me up. I say our national security brain trust needs a proctologist on staff." He can't be a Democrat, He makes sense! "People get a male candidate and you know right away what to do to make him look busy. Undo the collar, undo the tie, take off their coats. What does a woman do? We either look like an unmade bed or we look like a Vogue model." Send in the Vogues! "People who didn't know me well thought I was frozen stiff." And... "I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple." And you didn't, inhale? "During my service in the U.S. Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Wow, No one can be stupid enough to believe this! Well maybe a Democrat. "I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me." You should give lessons to Clinton, he got it backwards! "Mr. Speaker, the White House says NAFTA is creating many new and exciting jobs. I did some research on those jobs: zipper trimmer, brassiere tender, jelly roller, bosom presser, chicken sexer, santitary napkin specialist, and a panty-hose crotch closer machine operator. That is what I call exciting jobs, Mr. Speaker." Much more exciting than being in Congress? Clinton called he wants to know about the Crotch Inspector job. I've plowed the ground, put in the seed beds, I've planted it, hoed it, wormed it, suckered it, cut it, spiked it, put it in the barns, stripped it, and sold it. I know what it's about how important that way of life is." And what are you talking about? Could this be related to the Chicken Sexer or Crotch Inspector jobs? On the other hand, I don't want to know! |
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